Broken Words

"I try with all my might
To get my sentences just right
So I say just what I meant
But it gets all fucked up instead
It's like words are broken again."

—Less Than Jake (Broken Words)

Chris,

I'm going to talk a lot about things that are very similar. You'll think I'm splitting hairs. But there's a meaningful distinction, and I'll try to illustrate the differences as I go.

The easiest talking point: I have never seen Scrum work for remote teams. Even one person not face-to-face and it doesn't work. Too bulky a framework for remote work. Your team is IST to PST. Don't tilt at that windmill.

You asked if there's a ceremony that actually works.

No.

Ceremonies are too big. That word was chosen specifically — a ceremony isn't a meeting. It quacks like one but isn't a duck. Ceremonies don't have someone who leads them. They just happen, with pomp and circumstance. Everyone knows the steps.

You described walking the Kanban board at standup. Every ticket, every day, everyone tuned out waiting for their turn. That's the ceremony problem. Prescribed steps that happen whether there's something to say or not.

Kanban has cadences instead.

Kanban is an overused term in Agile. It can mean the cards you put work on, the board the cards hang from, or a management framework. I'm talking about the framework here.

Kanban has the motto "start with where you are." I love that wholeheartedly. No prerequisites. No Scrum Master. No Product Owner. No certifications. Just: what's the next step?

Cadences focus on timing and regularity of conversation, not on how it should run. It's not a ceremony with steps. Just a talk about a certain subject and how often it comes up.

The difference looks stark when you put it into practice. Let's take retrospectives. Both frameworks have versions.

The ceremony: The team does an activity that produces a backlog of changes for the next sprint. This happens after the demo, before the new sprint. Same structure every time. Start, stop, continue in different packaging.

Kanban retrospectives: A conversation about team optimization. I broke it into two types when I was managing a team years ago.

One day a developer complained that someone outside the team was blocking their story. We had a quick meeting that afternoon. Did we want to put it on hold or change the definition of done? They made a decision. We alerted the team to the change and invited discussion. No one really cared. I noted it down.

At the two-week cadence meeting, I brought up that change and the others that had surfaced. We reviewed them to make sure they were still okay. Then moved on.

That's the difference between a conversation and a ceremony.

"And everything you see leaves a mark on your soul
Everything you feel leaves a mark on your soul
Everything you touch leaves a mark on your soul
Everything you make leaves a mark on your soul"

—Bad Religion (Marked)

You mentioned trying Lean Coffee. That's the right instinct. It's a cadence, not a ceremony. Topics emerge from the team. Conversation happens. People opt in.

But you're right to wonder if it's too much for a team that's been burned.

Start smaller. Have the conversation when it naturally comes up. Then review changes on a regular cadence. Show them you're willing to talk when they need it, not just when the calendar says so.

Many little conversations beat a big meeting. You work with them at their natural stopping point without creating a delay. It's more natural. Doesn't have the pomp and circumstance that ceremonies demand.

You said they have every reason to wait and see if you're still here in three months. You're right. Trust takes time.

But this is how you rack up brownie points: break down the ceremonies into the conversations they really are. Have them on a cadence, but also when they naturally pop up. Don't wait to talk to someone.

You'll respect their time. Give them more time to do things they actually like.

Plus, sprinkle in conversations that have nothing to do with work. Get to know your team as people, not resources.

So here's what I want to know:

What are you doing to show the team you're a person, not just their boss?

What are you doing to show yourself that they are people, not just resources?

How are you advocating that your team is full of people, not resources?

I'm sure you're doing it — I know you well enough.

But what are the actions?

I hope that helps.